Friends, have you ever felt vulnerable or fearful in your life? I remember the first time I was asked to speak in front of a group of ladies not connected to my church's ministry. I had spoken several times already to the ladies at my church, that felt safe; I knew everyone. This invitation screamed vulnerability on a whole new level. I was honored, but how could I speak in front of a group of women that I didn't know? It was a much larger group; what would they think? How would they respond?
So, I kindly said, "I don't know, I will think and pray about it"…all the while on the inside, my voice was screaming, "NO, NO, NO!" I was nervous speaking in front of a large crowd, afraid of rejection.
I am going to be honest with you; the struggle was very real. My flesh was firmly saying "No," but I already knew that my spirit was saying "Yes." I struggled with it for a few hours, discussing all that I was feeling with my husband and a dear friend. As I was seeking the Lord that morning, I knew that I wanted to. I knew that this was one of those times that I was supposed to say, "Yes, Lord." I knew that I was to fully surrender, submit and obey Him in what He was calling me to do. Yet, my flesh was being defiant and saying, "No, way! You can't do this! No one wants to hear what you have to say. Who do you think you are? You are going to be a massive epic failure."
I started to question, "Why me, Lord?" He gently whispered, "Why not you? You are my child, and I love you." He gently reminded me that I was creating a door of opportunity for satan to come in and tear me down. Feelings of fear and unacceptance, unworthiness, and doubt were coming to my mind. See, that is where satan wanted me, paralyzed with the fear of the what-ifs, feeling the fear of rejection, doubt, and the fear of speaking to larger crowds. He had me right where he wanted me; unproductive and ineffective. He knows what consumes us controls us. Therefore, the more I was consumed with these rejections/lies, the more he held my emotions and thoughts, and my focus was not on what God was calling me to do. I needed to gain a new perspective. At that moment, the Lord reminded me that I couldn't do it on my own; I needed Him. He would be my strength, and He would equip me with all that I needed to share. I needed to remember who I was in Christ, and that what God called me to do, He would equip me. The following verses came to mind also as sweet reminders.
2 Corinthians 12:9
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses
so that Christ's power may rest on me."
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? NO ONE AND NOTHING!"
Once I realized that my mind was being hijacked, I was able to quickly turn it around and say, "Yes, Lord," and I am so thankful that I did and fear did not win!
Patterns are everywhere. Have you ever realized or thought that rejections/lies have a pattern. They do! A few years ago, I led a study on Lysa Terkeurst's book, "Uninvited," and she said this,
"Rejection isn't just an emotion we feel. It's a message that's sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God. We connect an event from today to something harsh someone once said. That person's line becomes a label. The label becomes a lie. And the lie becomes a liability in how we think about ourselves and interact in every future relationship."
Rejection hits close to home for ALL of us at some point. It's a part of life. It can blindside us, and even when we expect it, it can still take us down for a time. When we get rejected, we can't help but stop and ask ourselves some questions. "What could I have done differently? What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me? Was it me?" With rejection, we either reject the person who hurt us, and/or we start rejecting ourselves.
Rejection engages our emotions to respond in hurt and carry the offense. Our thoughts about rejection determine what we believe and ultimately what we do in response to the hurt. When someone says something hurtful to us or we feel rejected, we must focus on God's Truths. If we are not careful, we can find ourselves dwelling on the hurt. The longer we allow ourselves to stay on the rejection/lies, the more they become truths to us. Satan hits hard. The enemy is vicious, but he is not victorious.
When we aren't battling the lies with God's sovereign Word, then we will keep believing them. They sink deeper into our core. It affects how we treat, speak, and think things about ourselves and even carry over into our other relationships. The lies become truths in our lives, and if we are not careful, they can become our identity, who we are.
When we have the proper perspective, we can weather the storms a bit better, endure the trials and long-sufferings knowing WHOSE we are, and not drown in the rejections/lies that satan throws at us. He knows our weaknesses, so we must be on guard and alert.
1 Peter 5:8
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."
In John 10:10, it says,
the thief (devil) comes only to steal, kill and destroy, BUT Jesus came so we can live life abundantly, to the full!
Are you struggling with rejections, either past or present? Are you feeling unloved, unworthy, unwanted, lonely, fearful of the unknown? For some, this could be small, but for others, it runs deep. Some of you reading this may have some pretty deep rejections in your life that have affected how you deal with, and even how you view life. You may not even realize how the hurt you are feeling has been allowed to seep into your soul, settling there.
The Lord wants you to give Him your weariness, your rejections, and all your hurts. The rejections we face can affect who we are, but the beautiful reality is that God thinks differently! He loves you and wants to replace your hurts and the lies with the fullness of Him. He wants you to be whole, free of anything holding you back.
Whatever we are full of is what will come out of us. If we fill ourselves up with the goodness (fullness) of God and His never-ending love, we will be overflowing with His peace, grace, mercy, joy, love. We are too hard on ourselves. We are consistently being hammered with rejections and lies from the world, but we must train our minds and hearts first to recognize what is happening and then start to battle them with what God says is true. Is it easy? No, it is downright hard sometimes, so hard that nothing makes sense and it is a struggle.
As Lysa in her book, "Uninvited," says,
"It is impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory at the same time."
Let me encourage you in saying, if we want God to use us fully, to free us of what is holding us back, we must LET GO of the victim mentality and GRASP onto His victory banner that's found living in the fullness of His love!
Instead of saying, why is this happening, maybe we should be asking, "Ok, Lord, what is it that you want me to learn? How can I use this to glorify You?" We go through things so the Lord can deepen our trust, strengthen our love for Him and increase our faith, but it is also to help others in the future.
We know who the originator of lies is, satan. He is the master of lies. In John 8, it says this of the devil:
"…Not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
The only way to cut through his lies is with the truth. Jesus says in John 8:32,
"You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
These rejections we feel can leave us feeling unwanted, but we have been CHOSEN by the One who has created the universe!
You are greatly loved, near to His heart, cherished, wanted, WORTHY to be called His daughter…He calls each of you His beloved.
You are a child of the Most High King! May you know His eternal love for you more profoundly and understand in a more intimate way who you are to God. I pray that the Lord will touch your hearts in such a special way and that you will start living a life knowing that you are fully loved and fully known by God. His love for you is deep and wide. He is able to heal your hurts. Let me encourage you to find some quiet time and allow Him in. He is waiting.
As we recognize the lies we face, my hope is that we can apply and battle them with God's Truths. I pray that His Word would be like a healing balm to your heart, mind and soul. I have been praying for you, friend, leading up to this post. I encourage you to keep handing it over to Jesus, it is a process. He is faithful. May He fill you with His joy and His presence in the midst of what you are facing! He is with you and for you.
In NEXT Monday’s blog post, I will continue to share about this topic, as we look at some of the top lies we can find ourselves believing, dispelling them with God's Truths, along with a few sweet reminders that can help keep us on track. Make sure you get subscribed below, so you don't miss the rest. See you next week, I am looking forward to it!
In His love,